Why Black People Need Therapy Too

When did therapy become such a taboo subject for black people? Most of the people that I would speak to about therapy would often look at me side ways and say, I don’t need therapy. I don’t believe in therapy. Yet I find that to be false. Perhaps we have been sold many lies about what therapy is and what it can look like.

First of all, if we look to what the general media portrays therapy to be is, “A person, generally a white person who is some kind of licensed medical professional who sits in a big chair with a clip board taking notes of another white person who is laying down in a chaise lounge in the M.D.’s office.”

Yeah, therapy comes in so many different forms that we need to start embracing it and actually utilizing it to heal ourselves. Ever wondered how music tends to be very therapeutic to you in any state of mental discomfort you may be in. There is always some kind of music that can manipulate your emotions and help you reach some understanding or embracing of what your feeling or have been through in the past. That can be considered music as a form of therapy. Of course if the means to the end conclude a healing.

Counseling is advice or direction given to one whom may not see a clear path to a treatment or healing of what they feel. Therapy is the treatment. I remember in my youth I always wanted to see someone for therapy or counseling and yet I was directed to a church which did nothing but mask all the issues and offered no healing, treatment, or counseling. Which is where I think people of Afro-descent picked up the negative connotation about therapy. Even though therapy could have been offered in the most simplest way such as exercising or meditating by reading a book or sitting in silence; it was still brushed off like it was unneeded. That was false. The church may have given me comfort for a stage in my life but it never healed me or my family. Till this day. *Reference to some of the members who still believe the church is making a difference outside their pockets.*

If we care to notice how much we as not only individuals but as a collective group of oppressed people from many corners of the world we would have no choice but to admit that therapy is very much needed in our communities. Not only therapy but different forms of it, provided by people who look like us and know our struggles from experience in their own lives. I personally always wanted to do therapy for my own personal growth but always dismissed it because I didn’t want to speak to someone who didn’t share the same culture, or values as  I did. Until I came to know who I am and what I believe in I was able to then seek counsel and therapy from others who were elders and vibe on the same frequency that I currently live in.

Since therapy has begun to be something we as a people are now embracing and celebrating because of how necessary it is. I have decided I must share the greatest resources I have found that offer therapy for people that look like me and you.

 

One of my personal favorites is ArtCLStudios, this brand was cultivated by an artist who used art as a therapeutic medium to heal himself. And it saved him from years of confusion and depression because of not having guidance on what to do with the gifts the universe granted him with. He decided that with his art he will change the lives of others and help them heal their struggles. The artist’s name is ~Jansiel Polanco and offers many sources of multi-media art but is passionate about Art Therapy and Counseling.

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https://www.instagram.com/artclstudios/

 

 

other resources can be found below:

http://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/therapist-directory/

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http://www.abpsi.org/

 

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http://www.blackcounselors.com/
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Sensuality vs. Sexuality

In most cases when one hears the words sexuality it may be easy to quickly identify it’s meaning. But how often do we hear people speak on the importance of sensuality? One may guess that both are the same but the truth is; without Sensuality which can arguably be viewed, as a feminine characteristic there […]

Women Absorb And Retain DNA From Every Man They Have Sex With by: Yournewswire.com

 

Women retain and carry living DNA from every man with whom they have sexual intercourse, according to a new study by the University of Seattle and the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center.

The study, which discovered the startling information by accident, was originally trying to determine if women who have been pregnant with a son might be more predisposed to certain neurological diseases that occur more frequently in males.

But as the scientists picked apart the female brain, the study began to veer wildly off course. As it turns out, the female brain is even more mysterious than we previously thought.

The study found that female brains often harbor “male microchimerism“, or in other words, the presence of male DNA that originated from another individual, and are genetically distinct from the cells that make up the rest of the woman.

According to the study: “63% of the females (37 of 59) tested harbored male microchimerism in the brain. Male microchimerism was present in multiple brain regions.”

So 63% of women carry male DNA cells that live in their brains. Obviously the researchers wanted to know where the male DNA came from.

Anyone care to guess? From the women’s fathers? No. Your father’s DNA combines with your mother’s to create your unique DNA. So where else could it come from?

Through the study the researchers assumed that the most likely answer was that all male DNA found living in the female brain came from a male pregnancy. That was the safe, politically correct assumption. But these researchers were living in denial.

Because when they autopsied the brains of women who had never even been pregnant, let alone with a male child, they STILL found male DNA cells prevalent in the female brain.

At this point the scientists didn’t know what the hell was going on. Confused, they did their best to hide the evidence until they could understand and explain it. They buried it in numerous sub studies and articles, but if you sift through them all you will find the damning statement, the one line that gives the game away and explains exactly where these male DNA cells come from.

What are they so afraid of?

CONCLUSIONS: Male microchimerism was not infrequent in women without sons. Besides known pregnancies, other possible sources of male microchimerism include unrecognized spontaneous abortion, vanished male twin, an older brother transferred by the maternal circulation, or SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. Male microchimerism was significantly more frequent and levels were higher in women with induced abortion than in women with other pregnancy histories. Further studies are needed to determine specific origins of male microchimerism in women.

So according to the scientists, the possible sources of the male DNA cells living in the women’s brains are:

  1. an abortion the woman didn’t know about
  2. a male twin that vanished
  3. an older brother transferred by the maternal circulation
  4. sexual intercourse

Considering the fact that 63% of women have male DNA cells residing in the recesses of their brain, which of the above possibilities do you think is the most likely origin of the male DNA?

The first three options apply to a very small percentage of women. They couldn’t possibly account for the 63% figure. The fourth option? It’s rather more common.

The answer is 4. Sex.

This has very important ramifications for women. Every male you absorb spermatazoa from becomes a living part of you for life. The women autopsied in this study were elderly. Some had been carrying the living male DNA inside them for well over 50 years.

Sperm is alive. It is living cells. When it is injected into you it swims and swims until it crashes headlong into a wall, and then it attaches and burrows into your flesh. If it’s in your mouth it swims and climbs into your nasal passages, inner ear, and behind your eyes. Then it digs in. It enters your blood stream and collects in your brain and spine.

Like something out of a scifi movie, it becomes a part of you and you can’t get rid of it.

We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse.

Addictions

Approximately 1 in every 10 Americans has an addiction problem.

I once heard a friend say that everyone has an addiction of some sort. To my belief and understanding some people may have addictive characteristics that are measured by their will power and others simply have learned to master their will power and are slightly less influenced into consuming too much of anything. In many ways that can relatively be the Libra in me saying, some have mastered the art of balance while others are still practicing.

This theory led me to question my own faults and potential addictive behaviors. I have tried many things like minor recreational drugs and GMO foods in the past. However, I struggled to pin point a behavior that I have done consecutively over the last decade of my life. I couldn’t recall any addiction.

Then, I began to think as far as searching for something I simply cannot live without that I could consider being addicted to. I thought about Love. I cannot live or thrive without love and the feeling of being loved, not by many but only by the significant people in my life.

Could I be addicted to love? And if so, is that such a bad thing?

This brought me to the Author; Gary Chapman’s quiz The 5 Love Languages. I have lived by this information for the last decade of my life. After carefully analyzing my growth as a woman I stumbled upon the 5 Love languages Quiz and learned what my prioritized list of love languages were. Needless to say the results have changed based on my current love life.

Here are my results:

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Perhaps being addicted to love is a potential affliction I face everyday in hopes that by living in love, life can be enhanced in all aspects. Now could that be a bad thing? I found it can be, but only if it draws me to hurt others or myself. But to label love as an addiction could be controversial to me and I choose not to label it my addiction.

Perhaps I’ve grown past the peer pressure of the 90s and have gained self-control through my experiences. Therefore my need and want for love and to be loved is not my addiction.

So do we all have additions or can it be that some of us have simply mastered the art of balance? In my experience there are phases in our lives that cause us to have more will power then before and as we grow and learn the true potential of our greatness; we get better at balancing the things we do; in portions and moderation that is. ~YtheG

 

Want to learn your love language ? Learn how you love and help others learn to love you!

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

 

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Relinquish your multitasking goals!

In a world where everything seems as though time is moving at the speed of light we must learn, now more than ever to take a deep breaths in between thoughts.

“Learn to do one thing at a time and give it your all.” ~YtheGarcia

Some one sold us this lie at a young age that we need a back up career or plan if our first plan does not work out. On one hand while growing up, some learned the ability of juggling tasks and the act of balance. On the other hand this idea has caused many of us to not focus and disabled us from subconsciously giving our 100% effort to our first plan. We then question ourselves and our capabilities when our journey shifts us in a different direction. If we do not put in all our efforts that being, mind, body, and soul into our talents in order to create a career or monetize our greatness how do we expect to be the next Beethoven, Alicia Keys, Albert Einstein, Babe Ruth, Dr. Bennet Omalu or Ellen Degeneres? Through educational literacy we have learned that the more we focus and put forth effort into mastering something, the greater the chance we have at being successful at it. In Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Outliers,” he expresses a technical amount of hours that one must contribute to learning and mastering their craft in order to gain a certain amount of success. Now there may have been new studies in recent years that argue Gladwell’s 10,000 hour theory but in all reality when we look to many people who are getting paid for something they are seemingly passionate about doing or creating, a common factor I have noticed is their collective consistency.

In my opinion the more you focus your energy and your life to the things you love and create the greater the chance you will have to earn a living doing what you are passionate about. Provided you have the right direction through mentorship, guidance, and education of course.

LACK OF CONCENTRATION OF EFFORT

The “jack-of-all-trades” seldom is good at any. Concentrate all of your efforts on one DEFINITE CHIEF AIM.  ~ Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill & Greg Habstritt

It took me some time, but I am glad that I learned early on in my 20’s how important it is to not be a jack of all trades. I became so deeply in love with what I am passionate about and what I am good at that I only wanted to work on that. This does not mean that I did not face failures or disappointments that caused distraction along the way but the moment I actually took my mentor’s advice and focused on my dream career, I realized that even if I failed one or two times, it only meant that I had to take a different approach in how I was setting myself up for success. This meant that more research was to be done and I had to become accountable for all the education I provided myself with. The most powerful lesson I learned once I knew I should pursue my passion at all cost was the courage to do it no matter how many times I faced disappointment because no matter what happened I was doing what I loved and essentially planning to create a unique way of delivering it to others which would take time to discover the how, who, what, when, where, and why.

“Stop spreading yourself too thin.” ~ John Davis (mentor)

When I was privileged enough to attend school and only focus on my studies I realized I excelled beyond my beliefs. In many cases today I find students who are usually part-time or full-time employees at a Job that has nothing to do with what they are passionate about or are studying in order to pay for school or simply to make ends meet. This for me always hindered my ability to perform at the highest level in school because I have a tendency to want to be great at anything I do therefore my focus would be in school and work versus just school or just my work.

This taught me that I had to find the best avenue to focus on my work and passion without having to rely on random jobs to make ends meet. Once I found courage to pursue my true destiny and calling without limiting my capabilities or questioning my intellect, I decided to put all my efforts and time into what I love. This meant that I had to create a way to make money by doing what I was good at. This meant I had to study the industry I would be serving and those who did it before me. Self studying liberated me into a world of possibility of being a brand of myself and the services and or products I am able to offer to others for compensation that I can actually live off of.

Truth is, we don’t live in a society that teaches us financial literacy from the moment we learn to read which is when I believe we should learn it in order to grow into progressive human beings who are allowed to live out their destiny by developing their own creativity. A human who is allowed to be themselves is sure to be willing to allow others to do the same in peace and harmony.

 

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Knowing your Uterus – Retroverted Uterus P.1

Many women including myself have swayed through life not understanding why we suffer from health disparities. We often face issues like PCOS: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, PMS, Fibroids, experience miscarriages, and infertility for years without understanding why and usually are told to treat the pain and discomfort with drugs rather than being educated about the cause of the syndrome and encouraged to create a lifestyle suited for our personal predispositions.

An exam may be necessary  

I was once lucky enough to have visited the most prestigious Emergency room I have ever been to. While living in Thomasville, NC when I started feeling lower abdominal pain in fear of it being cyst like I’ve had before, I was referred to an OB-GYN that was adequately trained. This OB was doing my follow up and wanted to thoroughly exam my pelvis to understand why I was having pain near my ovaries. After I mentioned having once suffered a horrific burst of an ovarian cyst that left me on bed rest for almost a month; She wanted to rule out all worst case scenarios. This doctor felt a sonogram was not sufficient therefore she went on to perform a vaginal sonogram on me. It was a bit nerve wrecking for me because I was not sexually active at the time but the information she provided me with during this exam made the whole examination worth it. My boyfriend at the time held my hand through the exam and made the experience less dreadful. This doctor proceeded to educate me about my uterus being retroverted. Image result for retroverted uterus

 

A retroverted uterus (tilted uterus, tipped uterus) is auterus that is tilted posteriorly. This is in contrast to the slightly “anteverted” uterus that most women have, which is tipped forward toward the bladder, with the anterior end slightly concave.

 

Symptoms of a retroverted uterus

Generally, a retroverted uterus does not cause any problems. If problems do occur, it will probably be because the woman has an associated disorder like endometriosis. A disorder like this could cause the following symptoms:

A range of causes for a retroverted uterus

Some of the causes of a retroverted uterus include:

Sexual problems

In most cases of retroverted uterus, the ovaries and fallopian tubes are tipped backwards too. This means that all of these structures can be ‘butted’ by the head of the penis during intercourse. This is known as ‘collision dyspareunia’. The woman-on-top position usually causes the most pain. It is possible for vigorous sex in this position to injure or tear the ligaments surrounding the uterus.

Fertility issues

It is thought that a retroverted uterus has no bearing on a woman’s fertility.

Retroverted uterus and pregnancy

In most cases, a retroverted uterus doesn’t interfere with pregnancy. After the first trimester, the expanding uterus lifts out of the pelvis and, for the remainder of the pregnancy, assumes the typical forward-tipped position.

In a small percentage of cases, the growing uterus is ‘snagged’ on pelvic bone (usually the sacrum). This condition is known as ‘incarcerated uterus’. The symptoms usually occur somewhere between weeks 12 and 14, and can include pain and difficulties passing urine.

Things to remember

 

Since learning about being with a retroverted uterus I realized how my physiology differed from other women. 1 in 6 women are born with a retroverted uterus. Some may live their wholes lives not knowing unless they inquire to find out or they experience some of the disparities I was dealt. Some of the causes are, painful sex, yeast infections due to high levels of acid in your ph., and painful periods. Some women learn about having this, way into their pregnancy and if their lucky enough they will have a Doula, who will instruct them on how to minimize the nausea episodes and perhaps provide some insight on why it is detrimental to eat the right foods for a more comfortable and easy going pregnancy.

It is very important to understand that our body parts are not separated. We often lose sight of the truth being that everything is connected and in tuned especially when we are not in tuned with our own bodies. We often pop a pill an ignore aches and pains when it can very well be our body telling us to pay attention BEFORE something goes wrong. I was grateful to have learned about my beautifully unique uterus because I was able to change my diet and life style in order to prevent things like fibroids, endometriosis, PMS and more. I learned early that my diet effects my PH-balance and if my PH (hormones) are off then my body becomes a home for disease and ailments especially when I am already sensitive because of the way I was created.

Before we continue our lives not knowing how magical and intricate our bodies are I hope we can all become a bit more curious about our Uterus’ and how different they can all be. Perhaps now we can tend to our personal needs as women and not be shocked when sudden issues begin to effect our health during our child bearing years.

The good news is that in most cases it is possible to have a baby if you have one of these uterine abnormalities:
ugjghjgjUterus didelphys
This is an uncommon abnormality where the uterus has two inner cavities. Each cavity may lead to its own cervix and vagina. This means there are two cervixes and two vaginas. It affects about one in 350 women.

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Unicornuate uterus 

A unicornuate uterus is half the size of a normal uterus and there is only one fallopian tube. Because of its shape, it is described as a uterus with one horn. It is a rare abnormality, affecting about one in 1,000 women. It develops in the earliest stages of life, when the tissue that forms the uterus does not grow properly. If you have a unicornuate uterus, you probably have two ovaries but only one will be connected to your uterus.
fghfht.jpgBicornuate uterus
Instead of being pear-shaped, this type of uterus looks more like a heart, with a deep indentation at the top. It is called a uterus with two horns, because of its shape. It’s thought that fewer than one woman in 200 women has a bicornuate uterus.

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Septate uterus

This is where the inside of the uterus is divided by a muscular or fibrous wall, called the septum. About one woman in 45 women is affected. The septum may extend only part way into the uterus (partial septate uterus) or it may reach as far as the cervix (complete septate uterus). Partial or subseptates are more common than complete septates. A septate uterus may make it more difficult for you to conceive.

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Arcuate uterus
This looks more like a normal uterus, except it has a dip, or slight indentation at the top. It is a common abnormality, affecting about a quarter of women.

About one in six women have a uterus that tilts backwards toward the spine (retroverted uterus). This is not an abnormality. It won’t affect how your baby grows, although it may mean your bump starts to show later than for other women.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a551934/abnormalities-of-the-uterus-in-pregnancy#ixzz3yO1RFZ9i

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waist beads, and how they’re keeping me fit!

Earlier this year my Sacred Woman sisters introduced me to the beautiful traditions of waist beads that had originated from our Nubian ancestors of Ancient Kemet. I kept telling myself I would eventually get them but when I got them around this time last month it was the best thing I ever did for my womanhood. As an afro-dominican, my culture has discouraged so much of our beautiful and imperative African traditions claiming most of them pertaining to women to be taboo. I recall being a Teen and having my father become so upset with me when he would find me wearing ankle bracelets. He being such a prideful man, never needed to give me an excuse for why I was not aloud to wear them and I would of course, hide it from him when I did. One day when I got older I asked him why it bothered him so much when he found me wearing it again, this time with determination not to take it off without a valid explanation from him as to why he was so opposed to me wearing an accessory on my own foot.  My father when on to tell me that he disliked me wearing ankles and toe rings because it was for hoers. Imagine my facial expression trying so hard to understand what kind of experience my dad may have had that made him feel such a way about a woman adorning her legs with jewels. Needles to say that with all do respect I could not continue to consider my dads incredibly ridiculous wish and reasoning for what I wore on my body. I continued to love my body accessories. I later began to research more about the history of why African women (& Africans of the diaspora) traditionally adorned their beautiful bodies with jewels. Then I met my sisters and two of them being sacred waist bead creators, I knew I had to finally get some of my own and truly embrace my womanhood.

Waist beads keep me fit and feeling sexy 

The moment my graduation of Queen Afua’s Sacred Woman Rites of passage program came to completion I got the opportunity to purchase my waist beads from my sis, Zanetta who fitted me on the spot and adorned me with two of her creations one, slightly snug and the other perfectly fitting to my waist. One made of regular stones and the other made with Womb healing stones. She blessed me with fitting me so perfectly into these beads that somehow I knew now that I had to get back to having a slimmer waistline in order to not feel uncomfortable wearing these beads. My body type is one that when I drink or eat too much I am immediately bloated. I understand the physiology of my intricate body and now these waist beads made me keep my body on check when eating, sleeping and exercising. Having my body adorned with waist beads didn’t mean that I will only feel super sexy and beautiful in my own skin every time I saw myself in the mirror but it also meant that I would now be cautious of the way I took care of my body in order to make sure the waist beads fit my waist and flattered me for myself and for my love. These waist beads have been a godsend. Now I am more in love with my midsection. I protect it more from harmful food and neglect and I am also determined to do core ab exercises daily to make sure my stomach matches the sexiness of my beads. I like my stomach flat and fit and these beads motivate me to keep it this way.

August 2016 Favorites* https://ythegarcia.com/2016/08/23/waist-beads/

Keep reading below and be astonished as to how these beads are actually made to keep women, their wombs and abdomen healthy and fit. I found this article by a Ghanaian bead maker based out of Georgia and I had to share it here for you all to read. Enjoy! Support and get your beads, beauties. *Quick note before these wack copy cat celebrities catch on to this traditional accessory and try and call it their trend just remember we have been adorning our temples since the beginning of time. So be your true self today before some else takes your culture and sells it back to you tomorrow.*

Waist by Wednesday 

The history of waist beads dates back to antiquity. Many believe that the history begins in ancient Egypt where they were called “girdles” and were worn by women as a status symbol. In West Africa, the tradition was made popular by the Yoruban tribe of Nigeria. They are worn as a celebration of womanhood, sexuality, femininity, fertility, healing, spirituality, body shaping, protection and wealth.

Yoruban woman are known to have once laced beads with charms and fragrances that would be considered irresistible to the opposite sex. This practice is now less popular, however wearing beads for the seduction of men is still one of the primary reasons some women wear them. Waist beads can be considered as “African Lingerie.”

Most of Waists by Wednesday’s beads are imported from Ghana, which also has a rich tradition of wearing waist beads. It is common for women in Ghana to wear waist beads as ornaments, as well as for symbolic adornment, which serves as a sign of wealth, femininity or aristocracy, as well as spiritual well-being. During Ghanaian naming ceremonies, babies are typically adorned with waist beads, while young adults also wear beads around their waists and on their hips during puberty rites as a portrayal of femininity. These beads are believed to possess the power to attract as well as evoke deep emotional responses.

As part of Ghanaian tradition, a successful suitor would commission a set of beads including bracelets, anklets, necklaces, cuffs and waist beads for his bride. This was part of her dowry and the foundation of her personal wealth. Women in Ghana would wear multiple strands of beads around their waist, with some cultures providing that the only person allowed to remove them was her husband on their wedding night.

Many Ghanaian women will tell you that they use their waist beads to shape their waist. It is believed that the practice of wearing multiple waist beads over time will help to keep the waist small and accentuate the hips. Since traditional waist beads are strung on cotton cord (and without a clasp/hook) they can be a good tool to measure weight gain and loss. They will not stretch; they will either break or continue to roll up the waist when weight has been gained. Similarly, they will roll down or eventually become so loose they will fall off when weight has been lost.

Don’t be fooled by photos of only slender women wearing waist beads. Women of all shapes and sizes can confidently adorn themselves with waist beads as well. Because traditionally beads are worn along your panty or bikini line and not your actual waist (which is typically across the belly button), it allows for all women to comfortably wear waist beads no matter their size. Wearing them is really a personal reflection and appreciation for your God-given beauty.

A fit pregnancy & a Doula who supports it!

CLICK ON  YTHEDOULA.COM  for full article!

Draya went to the gym religiously, 5 days a week for 8 months and ate well!

This hot mama says, she never got back to her hot body; she never left. She didn’t get snatched back up, she worked her butt off and always stayed fit. Which breaks the stereotypes of the “all woman gain weight and get out of shape during pregnancy” myth. Draya also stated something very important that many of us may over look. I had to meditate on this also; She stated she went to the gym for 5 days consecutively weekly like clockwork. Now that is commitment! Almost as if her gym routine was part of her full time job and many of us could learn something from this. We must admit we don’t always take that much time out of our week to take care of ourselves let alone our personal health.

As a birth coach Doula, I cannot stress how important it is to do this. The nine months that a mum is pregnant should not consist of being so busy getting everything done before baby comes that she forgets to be still and enjoy the journey and evolution of your body. Mum’s can take even 20 minutes out their day at home to do yoga just to keep their body in motion, encourage their blood circulating and muscles reminded to stay active not stagnant so that when baby comes into the world and out of her body, the muscles in her body will remember to snatch back when ready.

Medical History

as it pertains to your race… A Must Watch TED TALK!   Samuel A. Cartwright (Physician) An expert on negro medicine who promoted the racial concept of disease. That people of different races suffer from different diseases and experience common diseases differently. Cartwright argued in the 1850’s that slavery was beneficial for black people for medical […]